The Quest of the Fair Unknown - Gerald Morris

I feel like reviewing something. However, there's one problem with this - namely that I'm a chronic procrastinator, and I haven't actually read a book since... umm... When did Harry Potter come out? Was there a Terry Pratchett after that? I think there was... oh yes!! I read "Making Money" at Christmas. But you've all read that, I suspect. Even if you haven't, it's pretty much in the same vein as the rest, and just as brilliant. So what do I review?

Well, I guess what I do is think waaaay back... And seeing as how I'm in a medieval mood at the moment, I think of... Gerald Morris! Now, when was the last time I read one of those books...? Must have been 2006 or 2007, cos I read one that came out in 2006, called the Quest of the Fair Unknown. So I'll review that.

For those who haven't come accross him yet, Gerald Morris is definitely a light author. He takes Arthurian tales, and retells them as he feels like - sometimes he is close to the original, sometimes not very - but his writing always has a happy, slightly jovial tinge, that keeps you happy and in a good mood - these are children's books really, afterall. And they always have some way in which they relate to modern society. I think this is sometimes deliberate, sometimes not, but he loves to retell tales of excellent young women being awesome that make you make all kinds of funny noises of exhilaration while you read, which get you odd looks from everybody around you. So yes, they are a little clichéd, and coloured by modern views.

The Quest for the Fair Unknown (his 8th book) is definitely one of those tales where he takes a small story - which gets a few mentions here and there in many of the old Arthurian writers - and turns it into a novel. In this case, the big part that stems from Arthurian stories is the main character, a boy named Beaufils who has lived secluded from society with his mother for his entire life. When she dies, charging him to seek his father (a knight at Arthur's court), he wanders off into the wider world... which is all too amusing to read about... Beaufils's innocence is really rather fun, if completely unbelievable.

Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy this as much as I enjoyed Gerald Morris's other tales. It's not too bad, but it gets a bit strange here and there, and for a fun, light read, it's a bit overful with symbolism and modernity. Having said that, it's still fun, and definitely worth a read (and more than a few lols). However, I would recommend starting with "The Squire's Tale", which is the first story he wrote. Although they are all stand-alone books, each links to the other, and you understand the in-jokes better if you read them all in order...

...and the other ones are better.

Really do read these books. This kind of medievalist series is so much fun, and makes you feel all happy and bubbly, and there are enough of them to keep you going for a little while. He should have a new one out soon too, I would imagine.

Sorry for that messy review. Someone will have to come along and fix it. But I missed you all so much, I had to review SOMETHING. :P

Chart Throb - Ben Elton

Having read and loved his crime/war novel “The First Casualty” I picked up this book with the knowledge that it was going to be well written. I was right. Chart Throb is a masterful blend of intrigue, story, satire and cynicism. It details the running of a new season of the hit TV show “Chart Throb” a pop idol show like all the others – but done better. Go behind the façade that is put on screen for the public and see how contestants are picked, filmed, used and dropped on the whims of the main judge Calvin (very much like Simon Cowell, but meaner). Along with this we have ethical conflicts for the research team behind the scenes, romantic interests, and power struggles as the 2 other judges vie for more screen time and a better representation of the “real” them to help their own careers. Yes, for the other judges that perfect mix is used with a mumsy mum (who just happens to also be a transsexual still undergoing further cosmetic surgery), and a once famous musician trying to get back into the spotlight by being supportive, harsh, friendly, critical, and goofy all at once…

As stated, a very cynical look at the reality TV industry and especially the pop idol arena. All in all, a good laugh with twists and turns that will keep you guessing the whole way through.

Jasper Fforde - The Fourth Bear

Ok, I'll admit it.
I'm an infamously picky reader, and anything that smacks of rewriting nursery tales better have serial killers and gratuitous sex or violence for me to even read the blurb.
Thankfully, good ol' JF is aware of this.
I found this book witty, interesting, and possessed of a Terry Pratchet style of humour, with boring aliens, talking bears with porridge addictions, and a psychopathic baked good. All in all - I'd read it 4 times, or possibly five.
It will appeal to most of you, probably hotstuff more then most, but all of you, find, read, and then chortle with me.