1 - Getting the ball rolling then...

She told everyone this day would come, at dinner parties, at the beach, she even had a long and boring conversation with my ballet teacher about how it would come to this, eventually. Funny how I don't remember any of their faces, the ones who smiled politely and nodded at her mad ramblings. I will never forget her face though; I will never forget Ginevra Agostini, the woman who pretended to be my mother.

Commendations

to people who have been posting reviews! Since it has been pointed out to me that some of us have posted several times and 'got nothing'.

In completely random order:
triadofs
Hotstuff
Anistasya
Essylt


Good on ya guys :)

Reading well below my age

So lately, I have been given quite a few Scholastic Children's books to review by KiwiReviews and I am discovering that some children's authors are certainly better than others. It is difficult to judge what a child would actually think of these books, but I suspect, judging by the success of books like Artemis Fowl and Harry Potter, that kids aren't as simple as some authors assume. Anyway, my brief review of the books is as follows:

Stick Dudes - Felice Arena
A very cute and thin book for Primary School boys who can read 'chapter books' and like having pictures to accompany the text. This installment of the series is entitled 'The Secret Four-ce' and follows the adventures of four friends trying to work out who is stealing all their stuff at school. I enjoyed this one with its simple story, small twist and good feeling - if you know any little guys (maybe 7 to 10) who like to read, this one will probably make them smile.

The Shearwater Bell - Margaret Beams
A bit bigger than Stick Dudes and definitely for upper primary to early intermediate age children, this book is set in the North Island of New Zealand and follows a young girl, Rona, who has been sent to stay with her grandmother while her father is in a coma in hospital. I really loved the detail, ease of reading and yet depth that this story managed to achieve. Margaret Beams proves herself, with this book at least, to be an excellent children's writer with the ability to make sophisticate, fun stories accessible both to children and to the adults reading to them. I read this book almost non-stop, wanting to know what the secret behind the bell really was, whether they would find the treasure, and just enjoying the opportunity for an early 1800's insight into Pakeha/Maori relations through the diary of Rona's five times great grandfather. An excellent NZ based book!

39 Clues - Varied Authors
Truely a brilliant series that I highly recommend to everyone - seriously ignore the 'children's book' exterior, this is a fun, engaging adventure circling the entire globe with fascinating puzzles, snippets of history and -would you believe- character development!! I am totally hooked and can't wait for the final three books in the series so that I can discover what all this fuss and clue hunting has been leading towards. What is the great answer beyond the 39 clues?

Conspiracy 365 - Gabrielle Lord
Not quite as fun as 39 Clues nor as gritty as Cherub, Conspiracy 365 is a series that spans a year in the life of young australian, Callum Ormond. Every day is a struggle for survival and all he has to do is get to the end of the year alive, but that is turning out to be a lot harder than he anticipated. This series is quite readable, but I feel like each book makes a lot less progress than the 39 Clues books. At the end of 'February' I didn't feel like I knew much more than I did in 'January'. Also, each book ends in a life threatening, 'He's definitely going to die' cliffhanger, only to be rescued inevitably at the beginning of the following book. We know this, because the author has been contracted to do all twelve books, so callum can't die in June, can he?

EJ12 - Susannah McFarlane
Finally, a light and fluffy 'girly' spy series which, although being incredibly forumlaic, may appeal to girls between say 7 and 10. There is not much more to say about this one. If you know a adventurous young girl who is into animals, she'll probably love it. In fact, most girls in middle primary will likely enjoy the simplicity and reliable feel-good 'girl power' of the plot. No scrapes or bruises here, just believe in yourself and you can do anything!

I'm not sure why I felt that you guys needed an update on the Children's Literary scene... Maybe the answer is as simple as I miss you :)
*hugs*
- Ani

Alright, you lot,

where are all the reviews, hmmm? (Thanks for that last one, Essyllt :) )

Unfortunately, the only things I'm in any position to review currently have names like 'On the Formation of Maars', and I'm sick of them.

Here's an idea for something a bit different, that we can do at the same time as reviews (assuming that people are still going to do reviews).

A few of us have been writing stories together - nothing epic, (and nothing that's finished yet *pointed looks at Essyllt and Anistasya*) but they're fun to do. Nothing is preplanned - someone starts off, and people keep writing (reasonably but not spectacularly long posts). Take the story in any direction you like, as long as you don't introduce too many twists in one section. We won't have a planned order, but if you find yourself writing every second post, remember to wait and give others a chance to reply.


If you're interested, please comment to say so - we'd want at least four of us to justify doing this on the blog.

The Lies of Locke Lamora

I was going to post this as Rory, who was the last person signed in to gmail on my computer, but I'm too much of a goody-good. I haven't had much time for reading recently, but I did manage to finish The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch, which one of our flatmates lent to me. Sorry for the haphazard nature of the review.

The book is set in an amazing city that sort of reminded me of Ankh Morpork (at least at first), but without so much funny. It felt so realist, but so unrealistic! So clichéd, but so unique. Into this world Lynch puts Locke Lamora, who I'd love to be able to sum up in a couple of words, but really can't. He's a thief and a fraudster, but also so much more. He's ordinary in nearly every way, but so classy. Can you see a pattern here?

At its heart, however, LLL is about schemes. Plots and tricks and politics and scams and the awesomest twists and turns that leave you going OMGOMGOMGMGOMGICAN'TBELIEVEITOMGOMG!

And what did I think of it? A few points (all I have time for right now) are:
- The writing was always very good, sometimes excellent, but rarely superb.
- Lynch shows so much favouritism towards his characters, but it doesn't seem to come across badly. He's quite happy to humanise them with drawbacks and things, but when it comes to the crunch, you know they're gonna be ok, because they're his favourites. And then they're not. And then they are again. And then they're not. And then they are again. And then they're not. And I won't tell you how it ends.
- It takes about two-fifths of the book to actually get going. Until then, it's vaguely interesting and fun, but not really exciting or anything. After that, it's incredibly gripping.
- It is definitely not a children's book. Lynch doesn't seem to like telling the grotesque or overtly sexual aspects of his tales in the way that some authors do (ahem, Laurell K Hamilton and Sara Douglas), but he will throw in a few swearwords here and there, stick in some gross bits, and when a sex scene is appropriate, he'll include that too. He just doesn't seem to enjoy it much.
- It's got lots of laugh-out-loud-and-scare-your-partner-things in it.
- It's now one of my favourite books of all time. And I want the next one, Gabrielle! :D

Read it. It is well worth it.

Essyllt

P.S. If, after reading it, you can honestly tell me you guessed all the twists and turns, I will give you $10 or buy you pizza or something.

Yes, I did just post one. Yes, I really should be sleeping, otherwise Ill miss shakespare lecture tuesday for the......6th week running. Oh well....

Im reviewing one of my favourite series and for all of you that judge thusly, its manga. Run away now.

Namely, the manga series Rebirth. Actually, its Manwha, being korean, but still good.

Plenty of those amusing manga moments with facefaults and out-of-proportion mouth extensions.

Basically, the story starts of with a bunch of morons (professors of paranormality...yeah, they die, we can skip them) the daughter of one of them, and the exorcist hired to help them. It starts in a place in Europe which is nothing like eastern high carpathian dracula land. Really.

Monsters attack. Humans die horribly. One monster slain by exorcist (who is laughably weak) blah blah blah, vampire emerges from monsters remains. here is Deshwitat! Call him Desh.

after a few wellplaced manlove moments, Deshwitat saves the two girls. To do this, he has to suck the blood of the father of the aforementioned daughter, turning him into a soon-to-bezombie vampire. To avoid this, he burns him and turns him into The Dust Of Death. Yes, its corny, and so very TP, but it sounds better in Korean, I hope.

So, to explain - Deshwitat and his love, Lilith (bible abuse abounds btw) were killed by his once friend, Kalutika, who has recently become a god.

He now wishes to destroy the world. Hey, why not. Theres a big arc in volumes 5-12 which goes back in time to explain all the subtleties.....Enjoy the bits where it seems one of the male characters is wearing drag queen makeup. Also a great joke using the word "Dandy".

This is a fun, violently dark story with a lot of action, sexy costumes and interesting, if a tad predictable, plot twists. Ill now list its bad points.

Occasionally, bits just dont make sense. Secondly, at times its oversimplified or repetitive (Think alex's goldfish comment earlier)
Thirdly...character wise, its a mess. Some of them are great as cliches. some are great as against type. And some...generic. Probably the worst is the one I swore was a chick for 2 books....that was bad.

On the positives - theres a few great descriptions of love in it. And no, not all violent...ok, yeah, mostly. Some are possessive, some are protective, some are just plain strange (the old lady is a bit creepy!). It is, technically, a love story (so far, may change) and a mix of religions show up. Theres some really interesting costumes in it (which the author mocks in the extras) and I actually like the female characters.

So no one thinks Im misogynistic, I will explain this.

A: I doubt any of you can match me in my anime and manga nerdiness. If one of you has endeavoured to do so, then I aplogi- well, youll agree with me.
B: Manga females, unless its shoujo or such, are often crap. Fillers. Useful, amusing, but as people? No. Not always, but often.

So, I usually hate them. Or at least, the creators for them. Here, I liked them. Millenear is a vampire writers dream! Or nightmare, depending. In fact, now that i write this, its eerily creepizoiding how similar they are to us...

Overall, its readable, enjoyable, and emotionally amusing. Nothing heavy, but fun. If anyone in Chch wants to, ask me for all the english volumes released.

Well, how long has it been since I admitted I liked a romance novel? Such as say....Jane Eyre?

Its been a very very very long time. If such a time ever occured.

That has not changed. I hate this book! I despise it for a: existing and taking up valuable paper and b: becoming some sort of template to work with or against!

I swear, if anyone ever reads my works and says, "You know, this reminds me of Jane Eyre" or worse, "This writer clearly has taken Bronte into his work" (I have purposely ommited the e's thingyamabob) then I will honestly buy a gun.

Ok, a second gun. One that wont be traced to me. On to the book!

Dont ever read this for fun. If you must read it of your own volition, make it for a good cause,. like learning not to do. The language is archaic, and poor at that - Swift or Coleridge or such are better with it. The actual story is part whining part romance and part wannabe-matyr. Bad mix.

And lets not even go into the poorly chosen characters. So what if she's trying to avoid the stereotypes? All shes done is create mismatched features and a lack of cohesion. Her title character's strongest identifier is this strange idea of servitude and escape. Half the time, its a selfcreated cycle!

(Yes, I have read the damn thing)

This may be recorded as one of the key works in English literature. In fact, it is, by many of the same people who refuse to admit Poe is as well. So, what are its possible good points?

Feminist literature at its early stages. But its not.

A discussion of society at the time. Who really cares.

A womans heartrending tale of growing up in a world that hates her. Hell, you can watch that in reality. Hell, some of you lived that! (I was excluded on the grounds that no one considered my pain and suffering anything other then amusing.)

If I need to explain the plot of this then youre too interested. Dont, dont, dont read it. If you already have, forget it. Wide Sargasso Sea is considerably better.

And hey, wouldnt we all rather watch Valk make hot chocolate? Much the same..... ; P

The Motorcycle Diaries: A Journey around South America - Ernesto ('Che') Guevara

The account of two Argentinian travellers exploring South America on a disaster prone motorbike is, I believe, interesting in itself, even if you don't know anything about Che Guevara. If this is the case, I'd suggest you either go and find out, or read this book first and see what you think of him before looking at the rest of the review, because I'm interested to know what sort of impression people get from it before they find out anything else about him. I haven't figured out where this review is going yet (as with the last three...) so please excuse me.

Guevara, a 23 year old medical student, leaves Buenos Aires on their motorcycle, 'La Poderosa II', in January of 1952 with his friend Alberto Granado, and returns home in September of that year minus both friend and bike. They pass through Chile, where the people are incredibly friendly, and Peru, where they get through a lot of sightseeing; then Colombia, and Venezuela. In this edition, at least, letters from Che Guevara to his parents are interspersed with his diary entries. I get the impression that these have been altered for publication, and of course it's inevitable that the translation isn't as direct as the original, but the entries are very readable - they're written with a sense of humour, and apparent honesty; Guevara doesn't hold back in telling of how they used their positions as 'doctors' to cadge meals or few nights' accomodation at the local hospitals, getting drunk and having to escape an enraged husband, their 'anniversary routine' - I hope you'll appreciate this so I'm putting it in:

"1. One of us says something in a loud voice immediately identifying us as Argentine, something with a che in it and other typical expressions and pronunciation. The victim asks where we're from and we strike up a conversation.

2. We begin our tale of woe but don't make too much of it, all the while staring into the distance.

3. Then I butt in and ask what the date is. Someone says it and Alberto sighs and says: 'What a coincidence, it was exactly a year ago.' The victim asks what was a year ago, and we reply that was when we started out on our trip.

4. Alberto, who is much more brazen than me, then heaves a tremendous sigh and says, 'Shame we're in such dire straits, we won't be able to celebrate' (he says this as a kind of aside to me). The victim immediately offers to pay, we pretend to refuse for a while saying we can't possibly pay him back, etc., then we finally accept.

5. After the first drink, I adamantly refuse another and Alberto makes fun of me. Our host gets annoyed and insists, I keep refusing but won't say why. The victim keeps asking until I confess, rather shamefacedly, that in Argentina it's the custom to eat when we drink. Just how much we eat depends on what we think we can get away with, but the technique never fails."

- Ernesto Che Guevara, 1995. The Motorcycle Diaries. 'Our hopes are dashed', p115-116. Verso: London.

Please excuse the rather long quotation and the referencing :P This is only one of the many things they come up with - a Kiwi OE seems so dull by comparison. An excellent thing about Che Guevara's writing is how ordinarily he treats his adventures (I'm not sure if this is what he actually thought - perhaps this is completely normal behaviour for South American guys in the 1950s - or if it's just a feature of his writing style); he doesn't try to excuse their actions, and writes very casually about recurrent asthma attacks, or about swimming across the Amazon to visit a leper colony.

You may have seen the film of The Motorcycle Diaries - it's good, although in some ways I think the book does more justice to the characters, being a first hand account. However, the movie does emphasise a lot of the material that Che Guevara downplays, for example the way they deal with the patients in the leper colony (normally, compared the way they're treated by the doctors and nuns), and works well in combination with the book.

Che Guevara's developing political and social views also come across to an extent - in his birthday speech at the leper colony, where he talks about a united South American identity, or when he writes of meeting a Communist couple in Chile '..what had burgeoned in him [the husband] was nothing more than the natural desire for a better life...' and the treatment of workers at a Chilean copper mine. He tells his mother about staying in a hospital in Colombia - '...by which I mean a chair to spend the night in. We aren't all that broke, but explorers of our stature would rather die than pay for the bourgeois comfort of a hostel.' Comments like these might not be entirely noticeable, though, unless you know more about his later life.

Well, I apologise profusely for the quality of the review, and all I can say now is that I strongly recommend you read this book (and watch the film), because they're humorous/entertaining, and thought-provoking; if you don't know much about South America they're also informative, and give an insight into the development of (I think) the world's most influential socialist revolutionary.

The Dreamers' Quartet - David & Leigh Eddings

The Dreamers Quartet: The Elder Gods, The Treasured One, Crystal Gorge, The Younger Gods

David & Leigh Eddings

David Eddings is undoubtedly one of the father-figures of fantasy fiction. He is commonly credited with inventing what is now known as “generic fantasy fiction.” As such his older works can seem a little stale and predictable if you have read vast quantities, but as the creator of it, he should still be applauded.

I wasn’t sure what this quartet would be like when I picked it up. Being Eddings I was well aware that it could be more of the same old same old. Yet from works such as The Redemption of Althalus I know it could be fantastically different.

I’ll get it out of the way now: I didn’t entirely like this series. It was relatively different to Eddings’ previous work, and had some interesting ideas flowing round in it, but it just didn’t sit right with me. I’ll get back to this point later.

Brief synopsis of the whole thing: On a planet somewhere out there in a universe is a continent called the Land of Dhrall. It is split into 5 parts, 4 of which are the domains of different sibling gods and goddesses. Each god watches over their land (North, South, East or West) for a few eons, and then goes to sleep. When they are sleeping, their counterparts awaken and take charge for the next few eons. Each phase the order of hierarchy among the gods changes to keep things fair.

In the centre of this continent is a wasteland. It is ruled by something called the Vlagh. It is effectively a giant insect queen that tampers with genetics. Each time the insect nation come up against a problem the Vlagh goes into a cocoon and figures out what natural tools her next brood should be born with, and then lays a clutch accordingly. Unfortunately she is not bound by natural limitations to evolution so her children can be part mammalian, part insectoid, and so on. Anyway, like all good insects, basically their aim is to find more food, and grow the family. So their eyes have turned out of the Wasteland, beyond the encircling mountains, to the other parts of Dhrall. While the insects still only live for about 6 weeks at most, the Vlagh seems to be eternal, and directs her brood through an insect overmind setup.

Human life has not been going for all that long on Dhrall (still in the stone age more or less, some being tribal-hunting lands, some being farming communities) and the Gods become concerned about their wellbeing if the Vlagh is going to start attacking them. Thus they go overseas to find other more developed civilisations (who know about bronze, and iron etc) and recruit them all to fight in Dhrall. The Gods themselves are bound not to kill any creature, or perform activities that will knowingly bring about death – to Humans, animals, or the Vlagh’s brood – which is why they needed other people to fight for them.

Over the 4 books, 4 pivotal battles are fought against the Vlagh, with lots of extra stuff happening around them. The plot in general is rather cool, with clever conventions and twists to keep it interesting. There is a little too much dues ex machina but that’s only to be expected when you have 4+ gods involved in the world.

The characters are very Eddings typical characters. They are painted with very broad strokes. One race all seem pretty much the same except for a few characters with extra colour running through their personality. The next race can be completely different to the first, but all the same within their community. All these conflicting personalities are thrown together to overcome the big issues. It’s something that works well for Eddings.

It makes for a fair quartet. Not bad reading, and once you start you will want to know the end. But I’m just hazarding that you may want to spare yourself some pain and not bother entirely. It’s up to you.

I will say this before I start moaning. The first book was really good. Truly it was fantastic. It hooked me enough to want to read the rest of the series no matter how bad as I wanted to know the conclusion. Books 2-4 were sloppy, and not as tight or well prepared.

Now on to my gripes: My biggest one is that the storyline repeats itself. I’m not just meaning that the same things happen in each situation, I am literally meaning that you keep getting the same plot happening in exactly the same time.

Why? Somewhere between writing the first and second books the Eddings’ decided that character development could be furthered much better if we got to see the past (and present!) that moulded them. As such the reader is subjected to frequent detours and repetitious material for both main characters and minors. They’re not simply: Hold up! When this dude was young his life was like this…

They go further than that and you end up reading about the same battles, the same meetings, and the same journeys multiple times.

Now I accept this was an attempt to show that different people see situations differently depending on their upbringing and process of evolution, but it’s BORING. It could have been done well, but in my opinion it wasn’t. Hearing the same guy describe the plot of the previous books from 3-4 different points of view is not cool! It’s not needed. Hell I just read the previous books! Please don’t treat me like a moron with a 5 second attention span and the short term memory of a goldfish! Reading about the deep past is useful, reading internal responses to the current situations is also interesting, but having them simply relate the same narrative of events with only a couple of personal thoughts about it is not good.

Frankly it ruined what could have been a really good series. Sorry.

The transitions between 3^rd and 1^st person narrative is also choppy and unpleasant at times. There was no 1^st person in book 1. It came in in book 2, and that was about when I started to think “uh-oh.”

Maybe it’s just me. Perhaps I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for the books, or not the targeted audience. Maybe you should read them to see what they’re like first-hand, as my response is evidently shrouded in distaste and bias. They are good writers, but this effort failed in structure, in plot and conventions it was right up there.

I will say this: The ending was not what I expected. I personally felt cheated, angry and let down to some degree, but also satisfied that it wasn't predictable to the end. A spectrum of feelings has been awoken in me while reading this book and perhaps that makes it epic. I love and hate it, find it interesting and boring, innovative and generic, bland and full of twists, fulfilling and emptying.

The final thing I would like to say is this: may the spirit of Leigh Eddings rest in peace in whichever world she escaped to. She provided countless contributions to almost all of David’s works, whether her name is on the front or not. It will be interesting indeed to see what David comes up with in the future, without the direct influence of his equally talented wife. Although being 76 himself he may just be ready to hang up the pen.

The Quest of the Fair Unknown - Gerald Morris

I feel like reviewing something. However, there's one problem with this - namely that I'm a chronic procrastinator, and I haven't actually read a book since... umm... When did Harry Potter come out? Was there a Terry Pratchett after that? I think there was... oh yes!! I read "Making Money" at Christmas. But you've all read that, I suspect. Even if you haven't, it's pretty much in the same vein as the rest, and just as brilliant. So what do I review?

Well, I guess what I do is think waaaay back... And seeing as how I'm in a medieval mood at the moment, I think of... Gerald Morris! Now, when was the last time I read one of those books...? Must have been 2006 or 2007, cos I read one that came out in 2006, called the Quest of the Fair Unknown. So I'll review that.

For those who haven't come accross him yet, Gerald Morris is definitely a light author. He takes Arthurian tales, and retells them as he feels like - sometimes he is close to the original, sometimes not very - but his writing always has a happy, slightly jovial tinge, that keeps you happy and in a good mood - these are children's books really, afterall. And they always have some way in which they relate to modern society. I think this is sometimes deliberate, sometimes not, but he loves to retell tales of excellent young women being awesome that make you make all kinds of funny noises of exhilaration while you read, which get you odd looks from everybody around you. So yes, they are a little clichéd, and coloured by modern views.

The Quest for the Fair Unknown (his 8th book) is definitely one of those tales where he takes a small story - which gets a few mentions here and there in many of the old Arthurian writers - and turns it into a novel. In this case, the big part that stems from Arthurian stories is the main character, a boy named Beaufils who has lived secluded from society with his mother for his entire life. When she dies, charging him to seek his father (a knight at Arthur's court), he wanders off into the wider world... which is all too amusing to read about... Beaufils's innocence is really rather fun, if completely unbelievable.

Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy this as much as I enjoyed Gerald Morris's other tales. It's not too bad, but it gets a bit strange here and there, and for a fun, light read, it's a bit overful with symbolism and modernity. Having said that, it's still fun, and definitely worth a read (and more than a few lols). However, I would recommend starting with "The Squire's Tale", which is the first story he wrote. Although they are all stand-alone books, each links to the other, and you understand the in-jokes better if you read them all in order...

...and the other ones are better.

Really do read these books. This kind of medievalist series is so much fun, and makes you feel all happy and bubbly, and there are enough of them to keep you going for a little while. He should have a new one out soon too, I would imagine.

Sorry for that messy review. Someone will have to come along and fix it. But I missed you all so much, I had to review SOMETHING. :P